Heart and Soul: September 2006

Life Way Supports Pastors

Perhaps you have heard the following statements.

As goes the leadership of an organization so goes the organization.
An organization, like a fish, rots from the head down.
Where are they? I must find them! I am their leader!

After trying to train lay people for many years with little successes in church organizations to show for my effort I began to re-think my approach. Although I still love to work with non-clergy, it is a fact that people look to their pastors for setting the pace for organizational growth and change. So, for the past few years I have poured myself and my talents into strengthening pastors and their families.The stats about leaders and their family life are dismal.

Unfortunately, many of the current magazines and seminars supposedly designed for ministers and church leaders make the situation worse not better by pushing pastors to try harder and do more, thus facilitating an impossible, works righteousness approach to the Christian life.

Take a look at some of the data from seminary research:

75% dropout after 15-20 years
Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry monthly due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their church.
Most become Chaplains, Counselors, Insurance Sales
80% say ministry impacts families negatively
40% have conflicts with member monthly
70% have no close friends1/8th pastors consider quitting
This equals about =44,500 people

© Joseph Umidi @ Regent University,Virginia Beach,VA.

We at Life Way Ministries are dedicated to offering free, confidential counseling, coaching, support and training for ministers from any and every denomination. We are currently helping several leaders, their wives and family members who are suffering from burn out, depression, conflict shell shock and emotional/sexual misconduct.

Pray for us as we develop more channels of support and prevention.

Life Way Supports Pastors

Perhaps you have heard the following statements.

As goes the leadership of an organization so goes the organization.
An organization, like a fish, rots from the head down.
Where are they? I must find them! I am their leader!

After trying to train lay people for many years with little successes in church organizations to show for my effort I began to re-think my approach. Although I still love to work with non-clergy, it is a fact that people look to their pastors for setting the pace for organizational growth and change. So, for the past few years I have poured myself and my talents into strengthening pastors and their families.

The stats about leaders and their family life are dismal. Unfortunately, many of the current magazines and seminars supposedly designed for ministers and church leaders make the situation worse not better by pushing pastors to try harder and do more, thus facilitating an impossible, works righteousness approach to the Christian life.

Take a look at some of the data from seminary research:

75% dropout after 15-20 years
Fifteen hundred pastors leave the ministry monthly due to moral failure, spiritual burnout, or contention in their church.
Most become Chaplains, Counselors, Insurance Sales
80% say ministry impacts families negatively
40% have conflicts with member monthly
70% have no close friends
1/8th pastors consider quitting
This equals about =44,500 people
© Joseph Umidi @ Regent University,Virginia Beach,VA.

We at Life Way Ministries are dedicated to offering free, confidential counseling, coaching, support and training for ministers from any and every denomination. We are currently helping several leaders, their wives and family members who are suffering from burn out, depression, conflict shell shock and emotional/sexual misconduct.

Pray for us as we develop more channels of support and prevention.

Responding to Muslim Violence To the Pope

Most of us are amazed at the way so many Muslims have reacted to the Pope's statements about the necessity of any religion to reject violence as a way to evangelize. One would think that Muslim leaders would consider just how awful it would look to audiences around the world if they did exactly what the Pope was criticizing.

Yet, many Muslim leaders went immediately to their marketing departments and organized large, violent protests stating that the Pope and other Christians should be immediately killed.
Why would a marketing department demand such an irrational course of action?

You might ask why I state that the Muslims were guided by their paid marketers. It is simple.

1. The Muslim marchers are mostly illiterate and yet they had signs in well painted English.
2. Who knows English? Paid marketers?
3. Why English? So CNN and The New York Times and other western media can read it and show it to Americans.
4. So the signs are for our American consumption not the locals. They really want the left wing liberal media to react and they did. The Times criticized the Pope!
5. Local Muslims can not read or understand what the Pope said so someone paid by them developed the slogans, painted the signs and told them what to say.
6. Western marketing moguls are behind the protests. That may be why they were so dumb and counter productive.

How do we respond?

By rejecting violence but realizing how REACTIVE and out of control many Muslims are to any perceived slight. Reactive people do not think things through or make decisions on rational reasons. They are at the mercy of their own emotional problems and inner discussions.

We need to pray for them to know Jesus Christ.

Take a look at John Piper's blog on this topic.

Resource Library / Taste & See Articles / By Date / 2006 / How Christians Should Respond to Muslim Outrage at the Pope's Regensburg Message About Violence and Reason

The Process of Change in Coming to Christ

A few posts ago I showed some photos of the Greater Cincinnati Baptist Association Pastors who gather weekly at the Life Way Counseling center Offices in Blue Ash to discuss leadership, influence and change. As a person with deep Baptist roots I am happy to say that these men are deeply commited to Christ and to growing the church in healthy ways.

We are discussing ways to influence people as God brings changes in their lives and I am promoting the idea that all change is incremental, step by step and usually slow over a period of time. The problem lies in an instant mashed potato society that expects change to be quick and easy.

I have developed a way of showing what I think is a biblical way to describe the stages of change from being against God, called scoffers in the Bible, to being sold out to Jesus.

From Scoffer to Spiritually Alive and Growing

All life is a process. People go through various stages whenever the Lord is drawing them toward Him. In the chart below I have scaled out 20 steps of change that range all the way from minus ten meaning alienation and blindness to a need or desire to change to plus ten that indicates the person is involved in ministry according to the call of Christ.

Motivational Level of Seeker
Wise Ministry by Christians

10-9 = Rebels at any change
Show Kindness of God

8-7 = No intention to change
Prayers, Assistance

6-5 = Change may be possible
Support, encourage

4-3 = I need to change
I will help you set goals

2-1 = I have decided to do it!
I will be with you

-0- = The first steps of change
I am here, lets find others

1-2 = Continues despite lapses.
Relapse prevention

3-4 = Gains strength & confidence
Support from church

5-6 = New habits begin to form
Encourage, teach, mentor

7-8 = Lifestyle firms up
Equip for specific areas

9-10=Maturity apparent
Ministry Involvement

I am assuming that wise ministry always flows from abiding in Christ and led by the Holy Spirit. That it is the result not of rules and regulations but of a spiritual sensitivity and biblical base.

Christian Leaders as Change Agents

No profession or calling has a greater focus on influencing change than those of us involved in Christian ministry. That is one reason I feel so blessed by the Lord, because I get to help leaders sharpen their skills of influence and open themselves to the working of God in bringing the good news to both Christians and pre Christians.

Today was the second of six Tuesday mornings when I get to meet with Baptist Pastors from the Great Cincinnati area. I showed you pictures of them last week.

They are a fun group that is seeking the hear God for better and more effective ways to touch lives. It is also a joy to work with pastors from my heritage. When studying my genealogy several years ago I discovered an ancestor that lived close to Mt. Vernon, the home of George and Martha Washington at the time they lived there, and a member in good standing in a Baptist Church.

My parents were committed Baptists and I came to faith in a Baptist culture at age 10 years. Perhaps because God was preparing me to minister cross culturally and cross denominationally I left the Baptist fold in 1969 and got involved in the House Church movement during the Jesus Revolution on the campus of U.C. It was a very painful yet necessary move for it prepared me to travel internationally and work ecumenically. So, I am very happy to be back with my roots.

We are looking at the processes of change and what kinds of things facilitate growth toward wholeness and holiness. Research on counseling and change indicates that the words we speak to clients is worth only about 15% of the change needed for a person to find relief.

If that is also true of Preachers and preaching then we give far too much emphasis to the 30 minutes a person is speaking on Sunday morning. But, it makes sense that people are influenced by other things like their family and friends. They are also influenced greatly by their level of motivation. So, maybe we need to find ways to build support systems outside the sermons.

Some of us argue that because preachers are anointed and are preaching the Word of God, his sermons should count more than a counselor. Granted that it may be true. But we also know that many counselors are Christians who speak God's word and pray with faith.

Additionally, if we preach for 30 minutes per week there are 167 1/2 hours left when members are being influenced by other people and events. The key is for pastors and leaders to develop several types of structures that also support the message of the Lord.

Do not assume when members are absent from us they are also absent from God's influence.

It is common to think that we are the only positive influences in a member's life. Thankfully, Jesus promised us that He would not leave us as orphans but would send another Counselor who would be with us and in us.

This is a radical idea! God with us. God in us. No longer do we need an external law because God will write the law on the heart of every believer. So, being absent from us preachers may mean that our members are too busy in ministry to listen any more.

A Marvel of New Technology

For three years I have known that my old laptop was woefully ineufficient to accomplish what I need to teach in a technologically advanced world. I forst ran into trouble while teaching at a mentored churches in southern Illinois. I just couldn't get the video to run on that old Dell.

Then I had some more power added and tried again. I saw the same frustrating results only this time I was embarrassed in Singapore, one of the most advanced technological societies in the world. I lost face with them for sure.

Two months ago I was in a meeting at U.C. for the integration of health and faith when I first saw a laptop tablet at work. A tablet is a laptop that is set up to allow the teacher to do several things.

1. I can write on the screen and insert it as typed text. That is good for writing e mails, rough drafts and taking notes.

2. I can speak and it will type my voice. WOW!

3. I can make slides and write on them as I present to make a particular point stand out. The photo above shows my writing on a Power Point slide. It enhances interaction with the audience and facilitates insights and clarity.

4. Use it as a regular computer with mouse and keyboard.

5. Run videos from DVD's and show them on projectors.

So, I finally broke down and bought one. I am very thankful that my two week comparison shopping saved Life Way about $700.00. I found an Acer at the MicroCenter and it is exactly the same as what the professor at U.C. uses and recommended so highly.

I am learning to use it and have already put it into play with the Baptist Pastors that gather at Life Way on Tuesdays. I am excited to finally find a machine that facilitates real learning and good interaction.

Thanks to all the Life Way Ministries, Inc supporters for making it possible.

Plan Now for October

Answering God’s Call @ The Vineyard Community Church

Come join us on Tuesday nights as Gary Sweeten builds on Pastor Dave Workman’s great series “The Call” with some practical advice on how to answer the call. Gary will share his transitional moments and how they were used by the Lord to take him to the next place in God’s plan and purpose.

Starting Tues., Oct. 17th to Nov. 21st at 7pm in the Great Rooms.

Contact Gerry Spears at spears@vineyardcincinnati.com or Ext 6393 to register

Baptist Pastors Gather at Life Way

Dennis Holmes, white shirt, is Director of Missions for the Cincinnati Baptist Assoc. and a friend. He and several pastors are gathering for six weeks to discuss leadership, influence, developing better realtionships and growth as Pastors and leaders. We are thrilled to have such great men spend their most valuable asset, time, learning how to be more effective for the Lord.

Trusted Colleague

Cyndi Wineinger

Cyndi is a wise and gifted person who is laughing at my Baptist jokes.

Baptist Pastors Are Happy People

The topics are serious but the Pastors have joy in the Lord.

Brothers Together in Mutual Support

Declaring a desire for God's guidance Baptist Pastors are gathering each Tuesday morning at the Life Way Counseling Office Conference Room to seek wisdom about leading the church.

Baptist Pastors in Prayer Support

We ended our time Tuesday with sharing stressors and mutual prayer. After almost two hours of discussing how better to foster change and growth in people we all needed to pray.

Marriage and Family Life as Christians

I am a retired Family Therapist and am convinced that the training I received and gave to the church about building healthy families will last for generations. Any church that is not developing and carrying out multiple programs for their marriages and family life is failing their people and failing God.

I know, I am a fanatic about teaching Christians practical lifeskills. I am somewhat bummed out that so few of our churches are failing to reach the relationship skills necessary to prevent serious marital conflicts . These conflicts lead to divorce and destruction.

These lifeskills of prevention and marital happiness are not unknown nor are they difficult to teach. All it takes is a desire to do it. I can train pastors how but they have to have the motivation.

Why do pastors and elders prefer to wait until their people are depressed, anxious and going through a divorce to show concern for marriage and family life? Why are so many Christian couples getting a divorce? Why are we not different from the world?

The lack of lifeskills being taught in churches is the main reason people divorce. Who is responsible for that?

Focus?

Cyndi Wineinger, my friend and colleague, is a great blessing to me. She continually challenges me to focus on the main points of my ministry. I try to do what she says but it is hard.

For example, the most recent posts on this ministry blog have been photos taken five years ago while we were ministering to the First Responders at Ground Zero. I am not an expert on terror, politics or crisis ministry but I am an expert on counseling, ministry and integrating faith and psychology. After 911 those two areas came together and we went up to New York to see if we could help out.

My passion for people led me into caring for my peers and others who always seemed to be interested in talking with me. Even as a child I was the "Go to guy" when people were in need. That led me into teaching and then into counseling because I am passionate about both Growth and Healing.

I have three major degrees and all of them are combinations to equip me to help people grow. A major part of growth is healing. Some people cannot grow until they have had the roadblocks of old hurts and dysfunctions removed. But, even as a clinical therapist I always think about not only cleaning the wound but also about teaching the client how to be smarter, stronger and better able to prevent future problems.

For example, I am a Family Therapist that knows how to intervene in a dysfunctional system and bring better health. But that is long and hard and requires many hours to help just one family. So, what should I do? As an educator I have devised materials, seminars and workshops to teach many parents and couples how to PREVENT problems. Why wait unti there is a crisis?

I am an expert on being a change agent. I enjoy teaching pastors how to preach, teach and motivate people to change.

So, I write and teach about the integration of psychology and theology, that was my doctoral dissertation, and the relationship between spirituality and counseling. I also love to work with youth ministers and help them minister to the kids.

It is hard to follow Cyndi's advice even though she is correct. I like so many things it is hard to stay focused on one topic. Some of my friends take one topic, like pornography or shame and build everything around it. I cannot do that. I wish I could.

So, try to remember that my thing is how people and groups change and how we as leaders can help them change, grow and be healed. Everything I write will stem from that passion.

A Cross Was Discovered in the Rubble

The textbooks say that people in a crisis also suffer a crisis of faith. We saw nothing of the kind. Many of the men we saw, and there were lots of men involved; very tough men; were open to talking about God. They were not mad at God but at the people that did this.

But no one spoke of revenge. They spoke of the necessity of our nation taking the terrorists out.

We prayed, cried, laughed and fell apart physically and emotionally. It was a wonderful, horrible, agonizing experience.

The smell shall never go away.

Carla and Gary @ Ground Zero

We worked from 1:00 am until 1:00 pm each day.

It took us a couple of hours to get there and get back from our place in New Jersey.

Here are the views from our little tent.

The wind was strong, cold and blowing things off the damaged buildings.

Dr. Carol, M.D. at the Medical Tent

Carla and I were allowed to go next
door to a 35 story apartment building
with a mosaic of the twin towers on the wall.

Carla Ministeres To The Archbishop

One day the Archbishop, Sheriff and several high ranking priests and government officials came by our tent. We gave them water and prayer as well as a listening ear.

Dante's Inferno

We arrived at Ground Zero to minister to the worn out and traumatized First Responders. We listened to cops, FBI, Firefighters, iron workers, truck drivers and many more.

Looking for Bodies

Two Weeks After 911

As a Christian I am sttped in biblical imagery and all I can think of right now is the passage where Jesus contrasts the work of Satan from the works of God in Jesus Christ.

The devil comes only to steal, rob and destroy.

But I came that you might have life and know it more abundantly.

The scenes that greeted the little team from Life Way when we first drove down to Ground Zero was a demonstration of satanic fury.

Five Years Ago

These towers stood high and straight with over 20,000 people working in them.

Our country could not imagine that anyone would intentionally kill themselves and over 3000 people in an attempt to destroy our economy.

That kind of hatred is hard to understand.

Why Do Clergy leave the Ministry?

The Pulpit and Pew research project on the state of pastoral ministry, based at Duke Divinity School and funded by the Lilly Endowment. A previous study was done on the status of the Catholic priesthood. Pastors in Transition is the first book-length Pulpit and Pew publication to examine the state of Protestant clergy.The authors conducted extensive interviews with clergy who have left parish ministry, voluntarily or involuntarily, and with denominational leaders from five church bodies—the Assemblies of God, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) and the United Methodist Church.

Conflict in the parish looms large.

The top five conflict issues cited by pastors who left ministry were pastoral leadership style, church finances, changes in worship style, staff relationships and building projects.

Organizational and interpersonal issues, rather than doctrinal differences or hot-button issues such as homosexuality, were the most likely to motivate pastors to move on.

"Most notable about the main conflicts experienced by ministers who left parish ministry is their 'everyday,' prosaic nature." Hoge and Wenger "came to believe that the conflicts most often experienced by our participants are ones that could probably be resolved and in the process offer growth experiences for both pastor and congregation."

The importance of collegiality to pastors' flourishing emerges in several places in this study. Isolation and loneliness contributed directly or indirectly to pastors' moves out of local ministry.

Of those who left due to sexual misconduct, 75 percent indicated that they were lonely and isolated. In all five denominational groups, the top motivating factors for leaving were the same. Pastors reported:
"I felt drained by demands."
"I felt lonely and isolated."
"I did not feel supported by denominational officials."
"I felt bored and constrained."

This is why we play golf every week. Golf causes very few theological conflicts and it stops isolation and lonliness. We network with men and women who allow us to talk openly about our needs and concerns.

Heart and Soul

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Friday, September 15, 2006

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Monday, September 11, 2006

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Friday, September 08, 2006

Monday, September 04, 2006

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