Every interpersonal conversation is a cross cultural conversation.
I grew up with a brother three years my senior and one seven years younger. We had the same parents and the same small town environment yet we still struggle to communicate accurately with each other.
Perhaps "accurately" is not the best descriptor. I really mean "as intended" or something similar. Several years ago I was attending a great seminar on family communications led by a famous teacher, Rabbi Dr. Edwin Friedman. I usually planned to stay over in the D.C. area to spend some family time with my elder brother, Maurice.
One night he came by to get me after the end of the class and Asked what I had learned. I excitedly told him that I now saw that I was often caught in between Mom and Dad's fights. Maury turned to face me in the car and said in an angry tone, "My parents didn't have conflict. YOUR parents had conflict; and you were the cause of most of it."
That was a show stopper for sure. Later we discussed that statement but for now let it stand as a reminder that even discussing a topic with our siblings is no guarantee that we will be understood or that we we will understand them.
Every conversations is a cross cultural experience that requires our patient listening to try to get inside the mind and heart of the other person. Family ties may actually COMPLICATE matters rather than make them easier.
posted by Gary Sweeten @ Monday, July 03, 2006
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