"Our worst things are often our best things. As there is a curse wrapped up in the wicked man's mercies, so there is a blessing concealed in the righteous man's crosses, losses, and sorrows. The trials of the saint are a divine husbandry, by which he grows and brings forth abundant fruit." Spurgeon about Psalm 1 in Treasury of David
About ten years ago I stepped down as President of EMI and also from Life Way Counseling Centers. I had experienced my first round of cardiac problems and the doctor warned me that death or severe disability awaited me if I refused to slow down from my workaholic lifestyle.
The changes had dramatic impact on our finances since I had no income at all for several months. If the humiliation of losing my life's work was not enough I also had to sell our new home and move into a small condo. We counted every penny and squeezed it until the copper cried uncle.
A bit later I did have a severe heart problem and lost about a third of the muscle that will never return without a miracle. Thankfully, God has touched my heart and there is more strength now than before but it is still less than 100%. You may pray for a full recovery.
Looking back I am thankful for the pain and difficulties. Oh, I do wish I had been wise enough to slow down on my own without having to be forced into it by health and stress. But, I was too much a workaholic to break free from the cycle of pain. God allowed my body to do the work for me. I was too deeply dependent upon the myth of control, my control of the universe.
Now I am glad to have a small house with no mortgage payments. I am happy we know how to scrimp and save. It is exciting to know that I am not dependent upon my work but upon God. And, I am very happy to be out of the trap of my former work.
Had God not allowed me to hit the wall, I may still be working 90 hours a week. It was the fear of death that stopped me in my tracks. When I collapsed at the office and then at church and finally had severe chest pains at 35,000 feet I had had enough.
Can you voluntarily stop before you hit the wall at warp speed? Can you learn from my stubborn behavior and go gently to God for relief? If not, God can still use you and put you back together again, Humpty. I am stronger, healthier and better off today than I was ten years ago. PTL!
You will never find Jesus so precious as when the world is one vast howling wilderness. Then he is like a rose blooming in the midst of the desolation, a rock rising above the storm. Robert Murray McCheyne, letter: 9 March 1843
posted by Gary Sweeten @ Wednesday, August 02, 2006
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