Familiy Listening NeededThe advertisement below was written for Singaporeans a few years ago but fits the American scene rather well. Read and see what you think.
Dr Sweeten’s program has been selected by Ministry Of Education to train Teacher Counsellors in each Singapore school. In this seminar he will offer you to the insights developed for MOE. Including:
How to talk so students will listen
How to listen so students will talk
How to ask the right questions
How to ask questions the right way
Dealing with bad behavior in a good student
How to change a student’s mind without losing yours
How to motivate students to changeUSA CrisisThe Metropolitan Life Insurance Company in the USA did a survey on violence in schools. Their insights shocked the mental health experts and school leaders.
One of the most important findings had to do with the power of teachers and parents on children. There are significant benefits from positive adult interactions with youth. For example, when young people are able to simply communicate effectively with responsible adults, healthy behavioral outcomes occur. They found that:
Kids who communicate with parents and teachers are less likely to become victims of school violence. This is amazing. Simply finding an adult to talk with reduces victimization! Parents, teachers, pastors and businesspeople can be trained how to relate more effectively with each other and to young people in ways that reduces their likelihood of becoming a victim of violence. We can set up programs that make adults available for kids to be with to talk. Simple, inexpensive and effective.
- Kids who are victims of school violence feel isolated from responsible adults. Of those surveyed: 29% say their parents cannot help them; 47% say that their parents do not understand their problems; 22% say that if they do talk to their parents it will get them into trouble; and 17% say their parents are too busy or simple aren't interested.
- Met Life's conclusion: The possibility that improved communication can reduce violence in and around schools is an intriguing one. It is an idea that may provide a foundation of opinion leading toward an overall solution to the problems of violence we see in schools and communities.
- The seeds of rebellious behavior, gang membership and poor school performance are also correlated with poor relationships with adults.
- Many citizens are aware of the fact that addictive behaviors are more effectively treated when spiritual issues are addressed. For example, 12 Step Groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous proclaim that alcoholism is idolatry and healing can come only when a person confesses and repents. What is not widely known is the fact that there is a great deal of research showing that other types of mental, emotional, behavioral and addictive disorders are also most effectively and efficiently treated when the Helpers recognize and deal appropriately with spiritual realities in the Client's life.
- A University Of Minnesota Medical School study in 1988 found that a majority of the psychiatric patients the studied had a strong commitment to some kind of faith and that members of the helping Professions need to take that fact into account in treatment. Dr. Elizabeth McSherry indicates that about 75% of all psychiatrically needy persons are treated in general or family practice medicine rather than a mental health specialist. This number may, in fact be greater since the advent of managed care. A great deal of the non-psychotic mental distress is related to life priorities, life style decisions, life's meaning, core values and relationships.
- Dr. Elizabeth McSherry also noted that studies at the Kaiser HMO in California found that some 60 to 80 percent of all first visits to their internal medicine outpatient clinics were non physical and non psychiatric in nature. When Kaiser referred these patients to a local "whole person" counseling center located at a local church and staffed by trained paraprofessional helpers, the annual outpatient visits for illness-care were reduced by 60 per cent to only 40 per cent of their control group's average number of visits.
Christian Ministers and Leaders are Increasingly in TroubleI am increasingly concerned about the high number of Christian workers who are slipping into emotional, behavioral and ministerial troubles. Over the past few months I have personally and/or professionally asked to be involved in several cases where gifted, talented and well respected leaders have failed to guard their hearts and souls.
The price when a faith leaders slips into inappropriate behavior is high.It costs the leader greatly in terms of self respect, emotional and spiritual anguish, loss of financial resources and even loss of a career and family. There is a loss of prestige, friendships, honor and the shame is overwhelming.
It costs the leader's family greatly. The spouse and children are devastated. She may have to work long hours at low wages while he works at a menial job and both must be away from home.
The church or para-church organizations is damaged in membership, finances, spiritual momentum, honor in the community and may be weakened for decades.
The Name of God is trashed and put to shame.The effectiveness of Christian witness is weakened and even destroyed in the community and many weak believers are turned off for years. The effects of the Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker scandals still reverberate negatively and unfairly throughout the nation.
The key is not just picking up the pieces but we must learn how to do a better job of prevention.
The Most Important Skill I Ever Learned (And Must Continue to Learn)Listening.It is critical to parental success;
It is critical to medical healing;
It is critical to effective evangelism;
It is critical to avoid damaging conflict;
It is critical to saying calm and peaceful;
It is critical to effective management and leadership;
It is critical to a happy marriage;
It is critical to good preaching;
It is critical to love;
It is critical!
Viking Christians In Norway Our ministry began in Norway in 1987 and is still a vital and expanding wok. Hundreds of pastors, theologians, missionaries and lay leaders have been trained in the Teleios Model.
PublicationsBy the grace of God I was directed one day in 1974 to attend a workshop in Athens, Georgia led by Dr. Richard Walters. Buz, as he prefers to be called, had just finished a Doctorate at University of Georgia under the tutelage of George Gazda, a well known educator and counselor. That seminar changed my life radically and permanently.
From Risk, George and their partner Bill I learned about doing outcome research that showed what kinds of counseling/coaching/consulting interventions are effective and those that are not so effective. During my Masters and Doctoral studies I was led to believe that my knowledge and skills were necessary and sufficient to foster growth, healing and change in a client. I was quickly disabused of that notion.
The research by such people as Carl Rogers, with whom I studied at a workshop in Illinois in 1969 and Robert R. Carkhuff showed plainly that
the key to effective change was not knowledge but the quality of caring shown by the Helper. This was true whether one was a psychologist, social worker, pastor, priest or parent.
I returned to Cincinnati and wrote a dissertation in 1975 integrating the "Buz Walters' Model with the Bible" and it has guided me ever since. There has been a lot of research in 31 years that slices and dices the Helper-Seeker Interactions and helps us better understand the nuances of the various parts. However, every study reinforces and supports my dissertation.
My first book was called
Apples of Gold I and was used to train ordinary lay persons how to relate with care and influence. This was upgraded and enhanced into Listening for heaven's Sake and is still being sold by EMI and Life Way Ministries.
My next book was entitled
Rational Christian Thinking and integrated Cognitive Therapy and the Bible.
My latest book is for equipping lay Helpers and lay Pastors.
Hope and Change for Humpty Dumpty. It distills the latest research on consulting, coaching and counseling in a positive and life affirming manner.
Contact me for materials
Gary R. Sweeten, Ed. D.
Leader Coach & Consultant
Touching Leaders, One Heart at a timeTouching Organizations, One Leader at a timeTouching Communities, One Organization at a timeTouching Nations, One Community at a time.Touching Eternity, One Day at a time(C)Life Way Ministries, Inc
11161 Kenwood Road Cincinnati, Ohio 45242
www.lifewaycenters.com
http://garysweeten.blogspot.com/http://gsweetenministryblogspot.com.blogspot.com/
Moving On With New BlogFor the past many months I have frequently posted my personal and public life on the same blog but that is changed. From now on I will post all my work and ministry related interests here and my personal and family interests on Brave Heart.
http://garysweetenblogspot.comAll my life I have fought to focus my mind on only a few items but generally speaking I have failed. As one wag said about a famous politician, "He had a mind as wide as the Pacific Ocean and as deep as a dishpan." That is me. I know a little about a lot of things but a lot about nothing much.
My professional and personal faith lives have been intertwined for many years. Ever since I left the Assoc. Dean position at University of Cincinnati to join the staff at College Hill Presbyterian Church in 1973 as Minister of Discipleship, I have placed my formal education at the service of God's service.
In 1976 I left that position to head the Discipleship and Counseling Position at CHPC and applied my dissertation insights on training Christian counselors and care givers. Over the next 10 years we developed one of the most dynamic lay-led ministries of care, counsel and group work of any organization I have ever seen.
Training lay helpers and lay pastors is much like coaching basketball. During the game the team must make split second decisions and instant moves without thinking in order to pass, shoot and defend effectively. However, a coach must prepare the team to act spontaneously as a free wheeling organism byt instilling discipline, order, pre-planned plays and mental preparation.
During my first years at high school in Illinois we won the state basketball championship. The team we defeated in the finals was superior in every way to our team except they played street ball in an undisciplined manner while our team coached by Mr. Changnon was highly disciplined and mentally prepared to cooperate. Their individuals were better than ours but as a team we triumphed.
The Teleios Ministry at CHPC was similar to my high school team. We practiced and practiced at every turn so when the time for ministry came we could "spontaneously move in the Spirit" and
minister to the whole person".
It is difficult to explain my ministry to traditional pastors and leaders for they do not think like a post modern person. They think about how to control the laity and I think about how to turn them loose. "Set my people free" said Moses to Pharaoh and it is what I am saying to elders and clergy everywhere. The greatest resources you have are the minds, hears and souls of the people working as teams.Make your comments and enter into a dialogue.
