One of several projects to come from my doctoral dissertation in 1975 was a book series called, Apples of Gold and later as Listening for Heaven's Sake. The Listening book is still being sold and used widely as a training manual for "Equipping church members with skills of caring and understanding". Since that first version in the Seventies the combined sales have been well over 300,000 copies.
I should be rich but frankly most of the money goes to support our ministries and many books are simply given away. The Lord told us in the beginning that, "Freely you have received so freely give." So, we gladly give.
I was praying about the Listening book this week and heard a clear call to write a new version. I have already begun to write and I am excited about making it simpler and more focused on listening and caring in daily life than in pastoral care and counseling.
It has been over 31 years since I did my research about the "Core Conditions of Counseling". The data were clear then and have not changed. In order to be an effective "Helper" one needs to relate with Genuineness, Respect, Empathy and Warmth.
A Helper is any person that comes alongside another to offer pastoral care, wisdom, counsel, advice, support, management, leadership or parenting. Many books and articles are written every day about how to influence others but nothing has replaced the four Core Conditions: Genuineness, Respect, Empathy and Warmth; the GREW attitudes and skills.
There have been reams and reams of new data about the importance of relationships in life and professional success. All of it points to GREW. Oh, the writes have come up with new and fancy names but it boils down to GREW.
Many people have come up with new interventions and resurrected old ones but without GREW those prayers, cognitive manipulations and guided truth probes are unsuccessful.
If you have not purchased Listening for Heaven's Sake and taken the skill training you are living below the poverty line in care and concern. Reading alone is inadequate. The training is essential.
Remember the song, "What the World Needs Now is Love, Sweet Love"? Love is best packaged with the GREW attitudes and skills. Get with it; get going and get together.
Listen-For Heaven's Sake!
Gary Sweeten
Ps I will sign your copy, free.
posted by Gary Sweeten @ Friday, August 11, 2006
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